Today i had my post op appointment. Its been exactly 6 weeks since my vestibulectomy.
He took a look and said it looked really nice. I still had about 5 stitches left in so he removed them. They didnt hurt to be taken out.
He did the qtip test and i felt NOTHING. I was just so relieved. He even told me he was putting alot of pressure on the area and i still didnt feel anything.
I feel like it still hasnt hit me. I feel like i should be crying of happiness or ecstatic but i dont know. Its a daily struggle realized that my body isnt in pain anymore. And when i do feel a slight pain either in that area or somewhere else i have to tell myself to relax.
I thank god so much because without god, i wouldnt have been able to get through what ive been through.
Without the support of my family and close friends, i wouldnt be here today.
Im just so thankful that god gave me a second chance to live my life.
My heart still hurts and will ALWAYS hurt for the women who struggle with this condition everyday. Its just so heartbreaking and i wish there was something i could do.
I know i offer to talk with them because i know just talking helps but thats not enough.
I just wish them relief like i have.
Thank you god.
XOXOXOXO -Sarah
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
6 Weeks
In 2 days i will be at the 6 week mark.
Weeks 3-5 i felt amazing. I remember one day i was walking at a shopping center for about 5 hours, went pee felt NOTHING, and walked home feeling zero burning.
When i hit week 5 i started to have pain. I was doing to much physically and traveling sine im moving and it really took a toll on my recovery.
I do want to admit though that even though its only been 6 weeks, i force myself to be more active so i dont feel like its taken over my life. I try to prove to myself that i can do it.
One night a couple of nights ago i was laying down and felt "dry." I kept my legs together but still felt dry. Then it turned into a burny dry feeling and i freaked out. I went home and just cryed all night. I put ice and vitamin A&D cream on the area.... I have been in bed ever since. I do notice after not leaving my house and staying laying down it has helped. The constant dry burny feeling has gotten better but i still notice a slight stinging after i pee. DEF. not as bad as before surgery. Before surgery when i peed it felt like acid 10/10 pain level. Now after i pee its about a 2-3/10.
I am close with several women from the support group on facebook and it just hurts to see everyone suffer. Sometimes i wish i could trade with them just so they could have some relief. I suffered 4 years but some of these women have suffered 3 times the amount of years i have. It is just heart breaking and i WISH that they could have some relief and live their life. Its just not right. I wish doctors knew more and were able to diagnose and treat our condition easier.
Feeling frustrated because a close friend of mine is suffering badly. I wish i could take her pain away. I hate to see her suffer because she deserves the best and is always there for me no matter what day and night. I will pray for her and every other woman suffering.
xo -Sarah
Weeks 3-5 i felt amazing. I remember one day i was walking at a shopping center for about 5 hours, went pee felt NOTHING, and walked home feeling zero burning.
When i hit week 5 i started to have pain. I was doing to much physically and traveling sine im moving and it really took a toll on my recovery.
I do want to admit though that even though its only been 6 weeks, i force myself to be more active so i dont feel like its taken over my life. I try to prove to myself that i can do it.
One night a couple of nights ago i was laying down and felt "dry." I kept my legs together but still felt dry. Then it turned into a burny dry feeling and i freaked out. I went home and just cryed all night. I put ice and vitamin A&D cream on the area.... I have been in bed ever since. I do notice after not leaving my house and staying laying down it has helped. The constant dry burny feeling has gotten better but i still notice a slight stinging after i pee. DEF. not as bad as before surgery. Before surgery when i peed it felt like acid 10/10 pain level. Now after i pee its about a 2-3/10.
I am close with several women from the support group on facebook and it just hurts to see everyone suffer. Sometimes i wish i could trade with them just so they could have some relief. I suffered 4 years but some of these women have suffered 3 times the amount of years i have. It is just heart breaking and i WISH that they could have some relief and live their life. Its just not right. I wish doctors knew more and were able to diagnose and treat our condition easier.
Feeling frustrated because a close friend of mine is suffering badly. I wish i could take her pain away. I hate to see her suffer because she deserves the best and is always there for me no matter what day and night. I will pray for her and every other woman suffering.
xo -Sarah
Monday, October 10, 2011
4 weeks
Hi everyone.
i am a little over the 4 week mark after my vestibulectomy. I noticed at exactly week 3 i stopped taking my pain meds and i was able to leave the house without realizing i was getting better. I can now say that the burning i had for 4 years is officially gone.
I should be extatic right?
It still hasnt hit me yet, and everyone around me cant understand that. I have to tell my brain that my burning isnt there and i can now do the things i dreaded or couldnt do before (walk to the store, leave the house, etc) it just feels like a huge relief. I even have no more burning when i pee. Yes it someimtes stings because my stitches are still in but today after i peed in the afternoon i literally felt NOTHING and i said HOLY SHIT!
I am going to admit i do feel like i have a black cloud over me. Its due to the fact that someone who was dear to my heart is no longer here...and she helped me for 3 years (my therapist.) She pased several months ago without any warning and i just ask god why i cant just tell her the good news. She helped me day and night through the blood sweat and tears. i miss her so much my heart hurts.
She hugged me after our last session and i thought about it after like ok she never really does..and then i realize its because she knew she would never see me again.
I just wish i could hug her and tell her the good news. She was like a mother to me. She filled a huge hole in my heart and now shes gone.
RIP<3
i am a little over the 4 week mark after my vestibulectomy. I noticed at exactly week 3 i stopped taking my pain meds and i was able to leave the house without realizing i was getting better. I can now say that the burning i had for 4 years is officially gone.
I should be extatic right?
It still hasnt hit me yet, and everyone around me cant understand that. I have to tell my brain that my burning isnt there and i can now do the things i dreaded or couldnt do before (walk to the store, leave the house, etc) it just feels like a huge relief. I even have no more burning when i pee. Yes it someimtes stings because my stitches are still in but today after i peed in the afternoon i literally felt NOTHING and i said HOLY SHIT!
I am going to admit i do feel like i have a black cloud over me. Its due to the fact that someone who was dear to my heart is no longer here...and she helped me for 3 years (my therapist.) She pased several months ago without any warning and i just ask god why i cant just tell her the good news. She helped me day and night through the blood sweat and tears. i miss her so much my heart hurts.
She hugged me after our last session and i thought about it after like ok she never really does..and then i realize its because she knew she would never see me again.
I just wish i could hug her and tell her the good news. She was like a mother to me. She filled a huge hole in my heart and now shes gone.
RIP<3
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