Today i had my post op appointment. Its been exactly 6 weeks since my vestibulectomy.
He took a look and said it looked really nice. I still had about 5 stitches left in so he removed them. They didnt hurt to be taken out.
He did the qtip test and i felt NOTHING. I was just so relieved. He even told me he was putting alot of pressure on the area and i still didnt feel anything.
I feel like it still hasnt hit me. I feel like i should be crying of happiness or ecstatic but i dont know. Its a daily struggle realized that my body isnt in pain anymore. And when i do feel a slight pain either in that area or somewhere else i have to tell myself to relax.
I thank god so much because without god, i wouldnt have been able to get through what ive been through.
Without the support of my family and close friends, i wouldnt be here today.
Im just so thankful that god gave me a second chance to live my life.
My heart still hurts and will ALWAYS hurt for the women who struggle with this condition everyday. Its just so heartbreaking and i wish there was something i could do.
I know i offer to talk with them because i know just talking helps but thats not enough.
I just wish them relief like i have.
Thank you god.
XOXOXOXO -Sarah
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
6 Weeks
In 2 days i will be at the 6 week mark.
Weeks 3-5 i felt amazing. I remember one day i was walking at a shopping center for about 5 hours, went pee felt NOTHING, and walked home feeling zero burning.
When i hit week 5 i started to have pain. I was doing to much physically and traveling sine im moving and it really took a toll on my recovery.
I do want to admit though that even though its only been 6 weeks, i force myself to be more active so i dont feel like its taken over my life. I try to prove to myself that i can do it.
One night a couple of nights ago i was laying down and felt "dry." I kept my legs together but still felt dry. Then it turned into a burny dry feeling and i freaked out. I went home and just cryed all night. I put ice and vitamin A&D cream on the area.... I have been in bed ever since. I do notice after not leaving my house and staying laying down it has helped. The constant dry burny feeling has gotten better but i still notice a slight stinging after i pee. DEF. not as bad as before surgery. Before surgery when i peed it felt like acid 10/10 pain level. Now after i pee its about a 2-3/10.
I am close with several women from the support group on facebook and it just hurts to see everyone suffer. Sometimes i wish i could trade with them just so they could have some relief. I suffered 4 years but some of these women have suffered 3 times the amount of years i have. It is just heart breaking and i WISH that they could have some relief and live their life. Its just not right. I wish doctors knew more and were able to diagnose and treat our condition easier.
Feeling frustrated because a close friend of mine is suffering badly. I wish i could take her pain away. I hate to see her suffer because she deserves the best and is always there for me no matter what day and night. I will pray for her and every other woman suffering.
xo -Sarah
Weeks 3-5 i felt amazing. I remember one day i was walking at a shopping center for about 5 hours, went pee felt NOTHING, and walked home feeling zero burning.
When i hit week 5 i started to have pain. I was doing to much physically and traveling sine im moving and it really took a toll on my recovery.
I do want to admit though that even though its only been 6 weeks, i force myself to be more active so i dont feel like its taken over my life. I try to prove to myself that i can do it.
One night a couple of nights ago i was laying down and felt "dry." I kept my legs together but still felt dry. Then it turned into a burny dry feeling and i freaked out. I went home and just cryed all night. I put ice and vitamin A&D cream on the area.... I have been in bed ever since. I do notice after not leaving my house and staying laying down it has helped. The constant dry burny feeling has gotten better but i still notice a slight stinging after i pee. DEF. not as bad as before surgery. Before surgery when i peed it felt like acid 10/10 pain level. Now after i pee its about a 2-3/10.
I am close with several women from the support group on facebook and it just hurts to see everyone suffer. Sometimes i wish i could trade with them just so they could have some relief. I suffered 4 years but some of these women have suffered 3 times the amount of years i have. It is just heart breaking and i WISH that they could have some relief and live their life. Its just not right. I wish doctors knew more and were able to diagnose and treat our condition easier.
Feeling frustrated because a close friend of mine is suffering badly. I wish i could take her pain away. I hate to see her suffer because she deserves the best and is always there for me no matter what day and night. I will pray for her and every other woman suffering.
xo -Sarah
Monday, October 10, 2011
4 weeks
Hi everyone.
i am a little over the 4 week mark after my vestibulectomy. I noticed at exactly week 3 i stopped taking my pain meds and i was able to leave the house without realizing i was getting better. I can now say that the burning i had for 4 years is officially gone.
I should be extatic right?
It still hasnt hit me yet, and everyone around me cant understand that. I have to tell my brain that my burning isnt there and i can now do the things i dreaded or couldnt do before (walk to the store, leave the house, etc) it just feels like a huge relief. I even have no more burning when i pee. Yes it someimtes stings because my stitches are still in but today after i peed in the afternoon i literally felt NOTHING and i said HOLY SHIT!
I am going to admit i do feel like i have a black cloud over me. Its due to the fact that someone who was dear to my heart is no longer here...and she helped me for 3 years (my therapist.) She pased several months ago without any warning and i just ask god why i cant just tell her the good news. She helped me day and night through the blood sweat and tears. i miss her so much my heart hurts.
She hugged me after our last session and i thought about it after like ok she never really does..and then i realize its because she knew she would never see me again.
I just wish i could hug her and tell her the good news. She was like a mother to me. She filled a huge hole in my heart and now shes gone.
RIP<3
i am a little over the 4 week mark after my vestibulectomy. I noticed at exactly week 3 i stopped taking my pain meds and i was able to leave the house without realizing i was getting better. I can now say that the burning i had for 4 years is officially gone.
I should be extatic right?
It still hasnt hit me yet, and everyone around me cant understand that. I have to tell my brain that my burning isnt there and i can now do the things i dreaded or couldnt do before (walk to the store, leave the house, etc) it just feels like a huge relief. I even have no more burning when i pee. Yes it someimtes stings because my stitches are still in but today after i peed in the afternoon i literally felt NOTHING and i said HOLY SHIT!
I am going to admit i do feel like i have a black cloud over me. Its due to the fact that someone who was dear to my heart is no longer here...and she helped me for 3 years (my therapist.) She pased several months ago without any warning and i just ask god why i cant just tell her the good news. She helped me day and night through the blood sweat and tears. i miss her so much my heart hurts.
She hugged me after our last session and i thought about it after like ok she never really does..and then i realize its because she knew she would never see me again.
I just wish i could hug her and tell her the good news. She was like a mother to me. She filled a huge hole in my heart and now shes gone.
RIP<3
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Recovery from vestibulectomy.
So the moment i got home from the surgery i peed and went to lay down. I was STARVING!!!! i ate baked ziti and ate the whole damn thing. i was talking to my dad on the phone telling him about the surgery and he couldnt believe that i sounded so normal.
DAY 1- So that day the anesthisia wore off and i noticed an EXTREME pressure in my butt. The pain frmo the stitches got realy painful and i cryed alot. I needed to pee every 2 hours and it was really hard for me to get out of bed without putting pressure on that area. someone had to walk me to the bathroom back and forth. I took tiny steps and with each step it hurt alot. Peeing was so hard because it stung soooooo bad. I soon started to pour warm water on me as i peed so it would help the pain. Sleeping was hard even with the meds because i would have to pee so much.
DAY 2- Same thing going on with the peeing alot i think its because i was drinking sooooo much water and juice. ice i noticed kind of hurt me even thought before the surgery it felt so good. It took a day or so to get used to the ice. Still had pressure in my butt and i remember saying wow if i didnt have this butt pain i would be ok! I cryed when my meds wore off because the pain would get worse. Sleeping was difficult and even moving an inch to change positions i would scream "OUCH!!!"
DAY 3- Butt pressure went away! that was a relief. I started the sitz baths. I was told to do them warm but i noticed if i did hot ones it helped me relax more. I didnt poop until the 3rd day and even when i did it was very painful. I was constipated. Straining was very painful. I just sat on the toilet and just waited for it to happen instead of pushing. Pain was still bad and i was taking meds every 4 hours.
Day 4- My birthday! i had a bunch of friends come over which was nice. It really got my mind off of the pain. I actually have a funny story...i was in the bathroom doing a sitz bath and was naked from the waste down when i was finished (im comfortable being naked infront of them) so as im walking out of the bathroom (I STARTED WALKING BY MYSELF WHICH WAS A BIG STEP!!!!!) they started singing happy birthday to me with a cake and i was naked lol!!!!!!!!! Had alot of fun that night and i remember when i slept i woke up still to pee and my friend had to walk me to the bathroom at 5am and 7am. did alot of sitz baths which soothed and relaxed my muscles. I took my first shower. I was fine and then an hour or so later i noticed SO MUCH STINGING. the soap from my shampoo prob got on that area and wow it hurt alot. I was so upset so i took more meds and rested so much more.
Day 5- Pain was getting lesser and i was so happy to feel that. I noticed that the stinging with peeing was less. One thing that scared me was at one point my stitches felt like they were "protruding out" if that makes any sense. I just had to not strain or put pressure on them. pain meds helped alot. bleeding was minimal. I started walking around my apartment by myself alot more and getting up to get food by myself etc. If i didnt mention this i was using ice all day. I couldnt live without it and it helped with numbing me.
Day 6- GREAT DAY! my friend and sis were with me and i was feeling so confident that i left the house to go out for coffee and went to target! So i walked with my friend and sis holding my arm which alowed me to walk slow. When i got to starbucks (5 min walk) i had a little more pain from the walking. Couldnt sit so went right to target which was downstares. As i was walking around target thats when my pain got worse and i walked soooo slow, i told them i had to go so i took a cab home. Got hom took meds and relaxed. it was so nice to get out of the house though.
Day 7- Felt dry in that area. I noticed when i was laying down and had taken meds that i felt so great. Icing all day and meds. Laying on my back and side all day.
Day 8- pretty much the same i was feeling better little by little. Sleeping was a little easier because i wasnt peeing every 2 hours anymore. I was able to sleep through the night but not as much as i slept before surgery.
Day 9- So i was so confident that i stoped taking pain meds every 3-4 hours that i only took them when i needed and it took a toll on me. I noticed the stinging with peeing got so bad and i got upset and a friend of mine that has had the surgery told me its because i stoped the meds. When i started the meds again i felt better so im going to take them every 4 hours so that doesnt happen again.
DAY 10- Still had s ing but i need to stop and relax in bed. I only took medicine 2 times today and i need to take some now because im feeling really sore. Thats what i feel now "sore". Im icing so much. Im hoping that tmrow brings a better day and im moving in the right direction!
XOXOXO -Sarah
DAY 1- So that day the anesthisia wore off and i noticed an EXTREME pressure in my butt. The pain frmo the stitches got realy painful and i cryed alot. I needed to pee every 2 hours and it was really hard for me to get out of bed without putting pressure on that area. someone had to walk me to the bathroom back and forth. I took tiny steps and with each step it hurt alot. Peeing was so hard because it stung soooooo bad. I soon started to pour warm water on me as i peed so it would help the pain. Sleeping was hard even with the meds because i would have to pee so much.
DAY 2- Same thing going on with the peeing alot i think its because i was drinking sooooo much water and juice. ice i noticed kind of hurt me even thought before the surgery it felt so good. It took a day or so to get used to the ice. Still had pressure in my butt and i remember saying wow if i didnt have this butt pain i would be ok! I cryed when my meds wore off because the pain would get worse. Sleeping was difficult and even moving an inch to change positions i would scream "OUCH!!!"
DAY 3- Butt pressure went away! that was a relief. I started the sitz baths. I was told to do them warm but i noticed if i did hot ones it helped me relax more. I didnt poop until the 3rd day and even when i did it was very painful. I was constipated. Straining was very painful. I just sat on the toilet and just waited for it to happen instead of pushing. Pain was still bad and i was taking meds every 4 hours.
Day 4- My birthday! i had a bunch of friends come over which was nice. It really got my mind off of the pain. I actually have a funny story...i was in the bathroom doing a sitz bath and was naked from the waste down when i was finished (im comfortable being naked infront of them) so as im walking out of the bathroom (I STARTED WALKING BY MYSELF WHICH WAS A BIG STEP!!!!!) they started singing happy birthday to me with a cake and i was naked lol!!!!!!!!! Had alot of fun that night and i remember when i slept i woke up still to pee and my friend had to walk me to the bathroom at 5am and 7am. did alot of sitz baths which soothed and relaxed my muscles. I took my first shower. I was fine and then an hour or so later i noticed SO MUCH STINGING. the soap from my shampoo prob got on that area and wow it hurt alot. I was so upset so i took more meds and rested so much more.
Day 5- Pain was getting lesser and i was so happy to feel that. I noticed that the stinging with peeing was less. One thing that scared me was at one point my stitches felt like they were "protruding out" if that makes any sense. I just had to not strain or put pressure on them. pain meds helped alot. bleeding was minimal. I started walking around my apartment by myself alot more and getting up to get food by myself etc. If i didnt mention this i was using ice all day. I couldnt live without it and it helped with numbing me.
Day 6- GREAT DAY! my friend and sis were with me and i was feeling so confident that i left the house to go out for coffee and went to target! So i walked with my friend and sis holding my arm which alowed me to walk slow. When i got to starbucks (5 min walk) i had a little more pain from the walking. Couldnt sit so went right to target which was downstares. As i was walking around target thats when my pain got worse and i walked soooo slow, i told them i had to go so i took a cab home. Got hom took meds and relaxed. it was so nice to get out of the house though.
Day 7- Felt dry in that area. I noticed when i was laying down and had taken meds that i felt so great. Icing all day and meds. Laying on my back and side all day.
Day 8- pretty much the same i was feeling better little by little. Sleeping was a little easier because i wasnt peeing every 2 hours anymore. I was able to sleep through the night but not as much as i slept before surgery.
Day 9- So i was so confident that i stoped taking pain meds every 3-4 hours that i only took them when i needed and it took a toll on me. I noticed the stinging with peeing got so bad and i got upset and a friend of mine that has had the surgery told me its because i stoped the meds. When i started the meds again i felt better so im going to take them every 4 hours so that doesnt happen again.
DAY 10- Still had s ing but i need to stop and relax in bed. I only took medicine 2 times today and i need to take some now because im feeling really sore. Thats what i feel now "sore". Im icing so much. Im hoping that tmrow brings a better day and im moving in the right direction!
XOXOXO -Sarah
My Vestibulectomy.
Let me first say i feel horrible i havent updated this earlier.
I want to give as many details about surgery day as possible.
So i wake up at 7am to be in the city by 9am. The worst part about the surgery was the aniticipation. I get bad anxiety so that sucked alot. When i arrived at the facility i felt SO MUCH BETTER. just seeing where it was going to be and talking to the nurses calmed me down so much. I was even laughing and joking around with my sister and friend who was there with me. I changed into the gown and little booties and was directed into the room where it was going to be.
I layed down and my dr put my legs up and asked if that position was comfortable.. the anasthesiologist put the IV in my arm and then told me she would soon start the anasthesisia. Right when she started i felt a coldness in my arm which they said was normal. seconds later i was dozing off and POOF i was asleep.
I woke up and felt drowzy. They helped me up and walked me over to the recovery room. I was connected to a heart monitor i believe and it would beep if i didnt take deep breaths so that made me force myself to relax. i looked down and saw an ice pack between my legs. I told the nurse i was ok and she looked after me. My sister and friend came in and i was still out of it. I didnt feel the pain because i was all numbed down. I told the nurse i had to pee bad and that was actually something alot of women struggle with. The nurse helped me up and i took TINY steps to the bathroom with her. I peed so hard. It was like an explosion of pee LOL! extreme pressure to pee. Tiny bit of blood. then i went back to the recovery room and drak like 3 cups of water. Peed again! then the nurse took off the heart monitor and i chilled a little bit longer then i left!
so my sisters friend drove me, my sis, and my friend home. I was in the back seat laying down and my head was lying on my friends lap. Half way home we were stuck in traffic and i notice that the extreem pressure to pee was starting and i started to cry. We had to stop at a gas station. I peed so hard again. I instantly felt better. Then another half hour drive to my house and right when we pulled up i had that extreme pee again so i cryed while i walked in my door and hurryed to the bathroom. I went to my bed and this is where the revovery begins.....
all in all...i noticed that the actual process of the surgery like the panicking and worrying and anticipation was a waste because it wasnt even a big deal. the recovery was really really really hard the first 5-6 days. I will give details in my next post about that :)
xo -Sarah
I want to give as many details about surgery day as possible.
So i wake up at 7am to be in the city by 9am. The worst part about the surgery was the aniticipation. I get bad anxiety so that sucked alot. When i arrived at the facility i felt SO MUCH BETTER. just seeing where it was going to be and talking to the nurses calmed me down so much. I was even laughing and joking around with my sister and friend who was there with me. I changed into the gown and little booties and was directed into the room where it was going to be.
I layed down and my dr put my legs up and asked if that position was comfortable.. the anasthesiologist put the IV in my arm and then told me she would soon start the anasthesisia. Right when she started i felt a coldness in my arm which they said was normal. seconds later i was dozing off and POOF i was asleep.
I woke up and felt drowzy. They helped me up and walked me over to the recovery room. I was connected to a heart monitor i believe and it would beep if i didnt take deep breaths so that made me force myself to relax. i looked down and saw an ice pack between my legs. I told the nurse i was ok and she looked after me. My sister and friend came in and i was still out of it. I didnt feel the pain because i was all numbed down. I told the nurse i had to pee bad and that was actually something alot of women struggle with. The nurse helped me up and i took TINY steps to the bathroom with her. I peed so hard. It was like an explosion of pee LOL! extreme pressure to pee. Tiny bit of blood. then i went back to the recovery room and drak like 3 cups of water. Peed again! then the nurse took off the heart monitor and i chilled a little bit longer then i left!
so my sisters friend drove me, my sis, and my friend home. I was in the back seat laying down and my head was lying on my friends lap. Half way home we were stuck in traffic and i notice that the extreem pressure to pee was starting and i started to cry. We had to stop at a gas station. I peed so hard again. I instantly felt better. Then another half hour drive to my house and right when we pulled up i had that extreme pee again so i cryed while i walked in my door and hurryed to the bathroom. I went to my bed and this is where the revovery begins.....
all in all...i noticed that the actual process of the surgery like the panicking and worrying and anticipation was a waste because it wasnt even a big deal. the recovery was really really really hard the first 5-6 days. I will give details in my next post about that :)
xo -Sarah
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
What a joke
In my last post i talked about how excruciating my migraine was last night....today i woke up and it was gone. My burning was so so ...i decided to go out food shopping. (i hadnt left my apartment in 3 days,) I even put makeup on and dressed nice...i felt "good." As im walking around target my burning sky rockets to a 10/10. I remember walking in the isle and having to stop and my eyes rolled in the back of my head and i cought myself. I have never blacked out before. This is just to devastating. The one day i feel somewhat good ...this happens.
I am so upset.
I am so upset.
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